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Chaos Has It's Patterns

by Freckle Face

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1.
There is no love here I became a shadow to your ghost Tell me What do you miss the most Is it the way I used to laugh at everything you say Make you feel important I'm nothin gat the end of the day Just chasing after nothing What's the point of anything There's no love left inside of me I am dead I am dead Take the brain out of my head I don't wanna be your lover I don't wanna be your friend But I never meant it when I said I wished you were fucking dead because youre gone gone gone now you're gone gone gone now well, i guess this is the end, isn't it I suppose it never really mattered anyway I guess nothing really matters at the end of the day and I'm still me -a beautiful flower and you're still you -rotting decaying and your bones might be turning to dust but it's not my problem is it I'll be seeing you in Hell
2.
Bite my tongue until it bleeds There is no lines to read between Because I won't say anything We could have a perfect day If I just shut my mouth, no words slip out I won't have to say I'm sorry for being this way I won't have to say anything
3.
Cocoon 02:13
If I am a caterpillar where is my cocoon? If I am the sun then where is my moon? If I am a flower, well I really hope I bloom I'm running out of patience I pray something happens soon Why can't I color inside of the lines? I'm spending all of my time erasing the big mistakes I made but nobody told me that they looked quite nice from a distance If I am a caterpillar where is my cocoon? If I am the sun then where is my moon? If I am a flower, well I really hope I bloom I'm running out of patience I pray something happens soon
4.
stumbling one too many drinks Stumble into the party and I saw you from across the room I really wanna dance with you Put out my hand Will you hold it back? and can we dance? dance can we dance? dance Really wanna dance with you tonight Really wanna dance with you tonight
5.
You can find me at the mausoleum reading out the names Some days I leave red roses on random people's graves I like it at the cemetery but it always makes me wonder will anyone come and visit me when I'm 10 feet under I'm just as evil as they say I've got a grin across my face As your dull knife finds it's way Through the thin layer of lace Covering my lovely chest Piercing through my snowy flesh Killing time here as I bleed Serenade my ears with screams The violence is fulfilling You and I are finally Living out our fantasy Can we play our graveyard game? Kill me all over again I never felt so alive until the day that I died Thanks to you I've got someone to blame For this lovely and long graveyard game It lasts forever and a single day I wanna play with you Can we play?
6.
Honeysuckle 01:39
Rage is red Violence is blue True colors have torn my heart in 2 I can’t be your honey I’m way too busy being sweet for everybody And does it pain you when I say that i'll probably stay this way and I might never see your face again
7.
210 West 02:55
Crying while I'm driving down the 210 I let my heart get broken again Why did I let you back in ? Why did I climb into this coffin ? Why did I stop being so cold ? I should've just stayed cynical Because it hurts a lot less when I pretend Like I don't feel anything Like I've got no feelings And I'm treading the water Just trying my best not to drown But I do every time WHY DID I .......
8.
Amber Lee 01:49
*Hey baby, um, It's your mama. I love you, um, I miss you. Hoping you're doing good and I wanted to tell you that your beautiful songs are amazing. They sing to me when i get lost, even when I'm found, and I'm so happy I have you around. I love you with all my heart, bye."
9.
Wish me luck And hang me in the closet next to your skeletons Then dust me off When you're ready to wear me out again Wear me down Wear me thin Wear me out all over again Down to a thread Treat me like an article of clothing you can take off whenever you want and Hang up in the dark when you're done I'll be searching for comfort beyond your arms But so far, nothing compares to that warmth
10.
I've met demons in the Valley and Los Angeles and I've seen what they bring me
11.
Flatline 03:53
Spitting ideas at sheep in a pasture Another one over the fence Another day closer to disaster They're jumping faster than they did last year Pick a side Fight to the death There's no fence- walking out here in the west Run from love Spit on graves Lie in bed while the whole house goes up in flames When you finally scream, It's too late Your notebooks have burnt to ash by the time you learn that rhyming is cliche Does nothing matter now, that we're finally bones-deep in the fucking ground? All that's left is the pre-recorded sounds of suffering and love And the lessons learned because of years of trial and error And staring at a thousand different strangers in the mirror As I gasp for air It's too late I'm a formless ball of consciousness just floating away And all the time you wasted Just getting wasted Chin up, completely complacent You finally have learned your love for the language Shortly after your tongue ceases to exist Along with everything else a man could ever think defines what he is I suppose this why we live to die To learn when It's too late that we could have been alive this whole time Instead of being sheep led by the blind Spoon-fed isms and bullshit as we stand in line Waiting to forfeit Now is the time to rebel and restore it To gather our scattered limbs all littered with a thick layer of bad luck Orchestrated in the perfect symphony that plays while we get fucked It doesn't end until they've busted their nut Now that he's knocking at my door I can see Death is truly what it means to be free An uninhibited flow of thought Just listen to reveal every secret that just is and give justice to your existence with time Or grab a spot in line behind the rest of us just waiting here to flatline I didn't realize this whole entire time I was nothing but an angry lyric in an angry song written by and angry god Now I just fade away into the fog As I gasp for air it's too late I'm a formless ball of consciousness just floating away And all the time you wasted just getting wasted Chin up, completely complacent You finally learned your love for the language Shortly after your tongue ceases to exist Along with everything else a man could overthink defines what he is And i suppose this is why We live to die To learn when it's too late that we could have felt alive this whole time
12.
Good luck I want balance in my life too Don't think twice Just jump inside the pool Play nice Maybe we could be Friends for life I never had a tamagotchi and the aftermath was a Fibonacci
13.
Instead of cigarettes, I'll start smoking cigars Maybe next year I'll be stealing airplanes instead of cars progression, succession It's not for me Me and my friends are all part of the machine We never say anything genuine and I'm starting to think that you're not my friend we communicate by talking shit and I'm starting to get SICK OF IT My mother My father My neighbor My brother We all wear our masks to greet each other The child cried, "Help me, I'm starting to drown!" And his mother said, "Please stop screaming so loud!" So the waves of the ocean swallowed his soul Life left his body and death took it's toll Then a funny being cam down to him and said, "You're not dead, you're just learning to swim!" I see clearly that the world within me and my senses, they deceive me Even nectar left stagnant turn to poison So be like the ocean, embody the motion What you give you get, and with whatever is left Invest in the chaotic mess you call home I know it's uncomfortable Remove your mask Greet your past Take the knives from your friend's backs Inhale each detail Act with intention that means well Put your feet on the ground and BE HERE NOW
14.
I want you to love me for who I am And all of the faces that you're yet to see I have Could you love a freak like me? Oh, It's so easy to see what you want to see But I'm coexisting with 1,000 different thoughts and ideas and desires And duality is everything that haunts me But I love the way it keeps me honest and pondering for more truth Nothing's really true until you finally say it is And everybody in my head has a different opinion Speaking softly because I'm not sure about my next words or what they mean but I want you to love me for who I am
15.
Born To Lose 00:40
I'm sad and confused If life's a game I know I was born to lose Oh no Here I go Down the same dark road I just got off of Getting back on
16.
I know you're scared of the dark Well I'll turn the lights on for you For you I'll do anything for you Because i know you're scared of the dark So I'll hold your hand and walk the whole time with you It's been a long, long lonely night I've only got one thing on my mind Are we coming home? Are we going home? I know I talk so much about it but I'm really getting tired of being alone It's getting old And every minute that passes I hope you know I'm thinking About tomorrow Thinking about tomorrow Keep it Simple & Fast We'll learn to get past all the things that haunt us bad And all the things that hold us back Because I need you darling and I know you're afraid of the dark I'll hold your hand I'll walk with you I know you're scared We're gonna make it through, I know this And darling, I'm swimming in a pool of my emotions Soon I'll start sinking and then we both can drown Drown together But I'll walk with you through the dark I'll give you every part of me This can be something to hold onto I want it Simple & Fast and real with you And I'll get it, I get whatever I want Because I'm a spoiled brat raised in Southern California I probably should've warned you Probably should have warned you But now, It's too late Because I know you're scared of the dark I know you don't want to walk alone That's why I hold so tight Forgive me for being so attached to the things I like What's wrong and what's right Just might lose it all in the end Or this could be the beginning

about

I CHOSE TODAY TO SHARE THIS BODY OF WORK WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD BECAUSE IT IS A FULL MOON IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW BABY, GET WEIRD.

Chaos has it's patterns, some of us call them happy accidents. Either way, I'm glad you're here. I composed the vast majority of this mixtape in my humble 200 square foot bedroom and I don't need shit else. But, I do want to thank all of my friends and family, those of them still breathing and those who did not make it through the year...I would not be half the human I am today if it weren't for all of you. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to listen to this public journal/piece of my heart.This is my full moon mixtape. Pick a comfy spot, press play, close your eyes and connect the dots.

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released October 24, 2018

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Freckle Face Rancho Cucamonga, California

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